If you want your children to listen try talking softly to someone else
If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else. – Ann Landers. My favorite quote by Ann Landers, because it is true. Children are more likely to listen to you when you are not talking directly to them; they think you are not paying attention. I was having a conversation about children with one of my friends; we were talking about teenagers and she happened to mention the most obvious way to get your child to listen without having to yell at them. And like a lot of people, I never intuitively thought about what she suggested. I always made the mistake of talking directly to my kids when I needed them to listen; I wasn't sure why I was doing it because I`m not a loud person and rarely raise my voice. As soon as she mentioned this, it made immediate sense: if you want your children, or any student for that matter to listen and follow directions, try talking more softly. I can't tell you how many times parents have yelled at their children only to find the child completely ignoring every word they say.
Teachers and parents alike know that to get kids` attention, all you have to do is raise your voice. This doesn't work on adults though because we're used to getting yelled at. It holds no meaning and we just shut down and tune everything else out. Now that my kids are grown, I see merit in the idea that by talking to someone else while giving your children instructions, you are more likely to get them to listen. And though I'm guessing it would be hard to implement this tactic when there are younger kids in your house, it may be worth a try. There are obvious advantages of communicating your feelings to another parent or friend, but I'm not convinced the benefits outweigh how annoyed your children will feel when you talk to someone else about them right in front of them.
As parents, we've all been there - struggling to get our children to listen to us. Whether it's asking them to do their homework, clean their room, or simply stop jumping on the couch, it can be frustrating when they don't seem to pay attention. But what if there was a simple trick to get your children to listen to you without yelling or resorting to bribery?
The Power of Soft Talk
Believe it or not, the key to getting your children to listen may be as simple as speaking softly to someone else. That's right - by talking quietly to another person, you can capture your child's attention and get them to listen to what you have to say. But why does this work? Well, for one thing, speaking softly to someone else shows your child that you value their listening skills and are willing to put in the effort to communicate effectively. When you speak loudly or yell, it can come across as aggressive or demanding, which can make your child less likely to listen. On the other hand, speaking softly to someone else creates a sense of intimacy and respect. Your child feels like you're sharing something important with them, and they're more likely to tune in and listen carefully.
When to Use This Technique
So, when should you use this technique? Here are a few scenarios where talking softly to someone else can be particularly effective:
1. When your child is misbehaving
If your child is acting out or misbehaving, try speaking softly to someone else in the room. This can help your child understand that their behavior is not acceptable and that you're not happy with their actions.
2. When your child is distracted
If your child is playing with a toy or watching TV, try speaking softly to someone else. This can help them tune in and pay attention to what you're saying.
3. When your child is upset
If your child is upset or crying, speaking softly to someone else can help calm them down and make them feel more secure.
How to Use This Technique Effectively
So, how do you use this technique effectively? Here are a few tips:
1. Be genuine
When you're speaking softly to someone else, make sure you're being genuine and authentic. Don't try to fake it or use a fake voice - your child will be able to tell.
2. Use appropriate body language
Make sure your body language is open and inviting. Uncross your arms, make eye contact, and lean in slightly to show that you're engaged and interested in the conversation.
3. Keep it brief
Remember, your child's attention span is limited, so keep your conversation brief and to the point. Don't ramble on or go off on tangents - focus on the main message you want to convey.
4. Practice active listening
When your child responds to you, make sure to practice active listening. This means nodding your head, making eye contact, and summarizing what they said to show that you understand and respect their perspective.
FAQs
What if my child doesn't respond when I speak softly to someone else?
If your child doesn't respond when you speak softly to someone else, try changing your tone or body language. You could also try moving closer to them or making eye contact to help them feel more engaged.
Can I use this technique with children of all ages?
Yes, this technique can be effective with children of all ages, from toddlers to teenagers. Just be sure to adjust your language and tone appropriately based on your child's age and developmental level.
What if I'm not comfortable speaking softly to someone else?
If you're not comfortable speaking softly to someone else, try practicing in front of a mirror or with a friend. This can help you feel more confident and natural when using this technique with your child.
Conclusion
Getting your children to listen can be a challenge, but it doesn't have to be. By speaking softly to someone else, you can capture your child's attention and get them to listen to what you have to say. Just remember to be genuine, use appropriate body language, keep it brief, and practice active listening. With a little practice and patience, you can become a master at getting your children to listen without yelling or resorting to bribery.
